Monkeyfreed

Look, Toby, your mom asked me to come tell you this. It’s not a conversation most moms like to have with their sons, but I went through this three times so I think I’m an expert on it. Look, you’re my fave nephew Tony… only nephew I know but I like you a lot. Always so nice and respectful and helpful. You’re a big boy now, 18. Sheesh… it’s a hard conversation to have… but it’s a conversation I have to have with you. Look, Tony… you’re a man now, and that’s not gonna end well for you. Look, your mom knows about your porn. Don’t try to balk, she knows it, she showed me. She also knows what you’ve been doing to that poor coke bottle and sock in your room. Don’t be ashamed, it’s all your hormones… okay it’s a little shameful but it’s a guy thing so I can’t mock you so hard. Look, you never had a man in your life, not since your father was a little bitch coward who ran away from your mom cause she LIKED showing off… oh I know you’re confused, but uh… your father is a pussy. Not like you